mandalas for marinke

Here is the next of the beautiful, inspiring, special contributions coming in to the #MandalasForMarinke remembrance project. I am grateful for each and every amazing contribution. You are invited to join; learn more here.

Beautiful Crochet Mandala

Becky's Crochet Contribution to Mandalas for Marinke

This excellent crochet mandala is made using Wink’s standard crochet mandala free pattern. I love the way the Round 4 brilliant neon green color pops out in a way that’s exciting but not garish against the rest of the greens, blues and purples in this lovely mandala. This crochet contribution comes to us from Becky in CA.

Words by Wink


Wink wore dreadlocks in her hair but they weren’t natural. She wrote:

“Unfortunately my dreads have to come out again next week, because my own hair needs some time to heal. I’ve had my synthetic dreads for well over two months now, but I sure am sad to see them go! Thankfully, I can get them braided back in again in a few weeks. One of the benefits of having synthetic dreads :)”

About Depression

One purpose of this project is to raise awareness about depression so each post will end with some facts, thoughts or quotes about depression, suicide and/or mental health. Yesterday I wrote about the cyclical link between depression and low self-esteem. In relation to that, I wanted to share today some information on self-esteem attacks, described as similar to (but different than) panic attacks. GetEsteem shares:

Often mistaken for panic attacks, Self Esteem Attacks are always related to how the person feels about himself or herself: inadequate. These attacks then lead to depression and feelings of humiliation and devastation. Common to some degree to all who suffer from low self esteem, self esteem attacks occur when a person perceives she has made a mistake in front of others or that others will hear about and begins to berate herself, to hate herself for her own perceived stupidity. She then not only reacts to those incidents but dreads the possibility of a situation where another mistake is made and such self-loathing reoccurs. Reacting to this fear, she may then: a) isolate or refrain from new activities to avoid looking foolish or inept, b) stay quiet and not share ideas or perceptions for fear of saying something “wrong,” c) not initiate with others for fear of rejection, and d) not look for a better job because of feelings of inadequacy, or e) remain in a destructive relationship because of feeling too inadequate to be alone.

“Self Esteem Attacks” occur whenever a person with low self esteem does or says something that he afterwards deems to have been inappropriate, stupid, rude, obnoxious, off target, or inaccurate. At that time, the person may experience immediate remorse, excruciating anxiety, his heart racing, his face turning red, a sinking feeling of embarrassment, depression and/or devastation. Wishing he could sink into the floor or disappear, he may immediately look for a way to escape. He may feign illness, sneak out without saying anything, or just become totally silent, hoping not to be noticed. He will believe that everyone saw his blunder and is thinking poorly of him, maybe even laughing at him. This is a full blown Self-Esteem Attack that may last for minutes, hours, even days during which he berates himself, is fearful of seeing anyone who was in attendance at the time he made his “mistake,” and remain seriously depressed.

All people who suffer from low self-esteem have these attacks though they vary in degree of severity and in length depending upon how serious the person judges his gaffe, how highly he values the opinions of those in attendance, and what he surmises the repercussions will be.”

All contributions to Mandalas for Marinke are welcome and will help raise awareness about depression while honoring her work in the same way that this great contribution has done today. Details to join here.


San Francisco based and crochet-obsessed writer, dreamer and creative spirit!

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