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These fabulous crochet mandalas, created anonymously, were made using:

  • Marinke’s 12 round crochet mandala pattern (edged in red)
  • ZootyOwlCard’s Sunny Flower Mini Mandala pattern (edged in pink)
  • Bunny Mummy’s Petals and Puffs Mandala crochet pattern (edged in lavender)
  • Attic 24’s Mandala Wheel (edged in yellow).

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The mandala maker writes,

“I started crocheting April 27, 2015. I had been searching for a way to honor my mother, who had passed on fourteen years ago. The day I started was, would have been, my mother’s 85th birthday. I had a clear idea in my mind, after visiting, feasting – on your blog, Marinke’s, Lucy from Attic 24s and the others (so many other, glorious blogs and websites) – that this was what, how, I was going to honor my mother’s memory!

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“My mother was a wonderful person, who gave wholeheartedly of herself. She crocheted, among the various other projects that she had going on in her life! After reading yours and Marinke’s blogs, especially, I found the courage to go get the supplies, with the help of a wonderful lady at Joanne’s, and I started crocheting. All of you are special people who are willing to share your stories and offer your patterns and tutorials. I know this has helped many people, like me, to learn and grow with this wonderful art. Thank you so much to Marinke, her wonderful, vibrant colors will always shine bright!”

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In honor of Mother’s Day, I wanted to share links to a few depression-related letters to and from moms. Each of these letters touched me, and although I shared excerpts here, I’d encourage you to read each one – or at least the ones that really stand out to you.

  • A Letter to My Mother, Who Struggled with Depression by Sherry H. Boldt. She writes, in part, “As a child and teenager, I didn’t understand why you slept all day. I resented you for not getting up and being like other moms. I wonder if I would have ever understood had my own depression not robbed me of raising my own children.”

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  • A Letter to My Son, From a Mother with Postpartum Depression by Amy Clarke who writes, in part, “Thank you for being patient with me. There were many times when I’d love to have been more involved with you. However, my depression made it hard for me to move. I will forever be grateful for your patience. Always know that I love you; sometimes I just need some time.”

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  • Mum with depression pens heartfelt letter to husband by Becci Nicholls. Every line of this letter is really powerful. An excerpt, “There will be lots of times when I feel like you would be better off without me, that my children deserve a better momma. Sometimes I will tell you. Most of the time I will not. Sometimes I can go for months without those thoughts crossing my mind, and other times I think about them every second of every day for weeks. That is the scary truth. It’s the first thought that runs through my head a lot. Depression is vile, a vile nasty monster. Please always keep an eye on me, but also know that no matter how many times you tell me I am worth it I probably won’t believe it on cloudy days – but please never stop telling me. Ever.”

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  • Explaining My Depression to My Mother, a spoken word piece by Sabrina Benaim. “Mom says why don’t you try going to actual parties, see your friends … Sure I make plans, I make plans I don’t want to go to … I make plans because I know I should want to go I know sometimes I would have wanted to go … It’s just not that fun having fun when you don’t want to have fun Mom.”

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  • My Mother Was Depressed Most of My Life. Will That Happen to Me Too?Mum says depression is not the opposite of happiness, it is the opposite of vitality; depression steals her life away from her. And it steals her away from us. I love my mum but I hate her sickness; I abhor how it changes her from engaged to disinterested, from enthused to enervated, from easygoing to irritable, from warmly close to — sometimes — coolly detached.”

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  • A Letter to My Mother Who Raised a Daughter with Depression (anonymous). “Every tear that slipped from my eyes you took responsibility for because you thought you had passed on this crippling disease to your little baby girl. Despite being crushed by the weight of every “I hate you” I had slung your way and the exhaustion from staying up all night tossing and turning on the idea that the words I say about leaving one day and never coming back might actually be true, you still smile and hold a stature that could halt a thousand running horses. Now I understood.”

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  • A Motherless Mother’s Letter to Self on Depression by Paula Jones. “I wake up every morning with the intent to be happy. But when you struggle with “depression” there are some triggers that can decrease your mood within seconds. It has nothing to do with people stealing your joy and you depending on them to make you happy. It’s an illness that is medically explained, that people don’t take the time to research. They tell you, do other things to distract your mood. Don’t you think, if I could, I would?”

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  • When I Stand in Your Shoes: An Open Letter from a Mom to a Teen by Nina Bingham. “When I stand in your shoes I begin to get the sinking feeling that life is going to be this way forever-insane, confusing, frustrating, and just plain pointless. So I start to get depressed, because the world, which commercials tell you is just waiting for you to conquer it, is, in fact, unconquerable. As I look through your eyes, I see a world where everything is upside-down.”

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And finally:

  • My Mother’s Suicide Letter (anonymous). “Please do not spend the rest of your days feeling like you did something wrong. I had a good life, with good people. I love you so much that I could not put words to it, and my having to leave has nothing to do with how much I love you. I hope you will not hate me for this.”

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Visit all Mandalas for Marinke posts here.

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San Francisco based and crochet-obsessed writer, dreamer and creative spirit!

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